Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Why So Mean Mama?

So, in the beginning of my mommy journey (pregnancy),  I spent an unhealthy amount of time on the internet, mostly Google. I Googled every little ache and pain I felt, my crazy emotions and food aversions. I also was constantly on the look out for other moms who were pregnant at the same time as me, because it helped me to know that I wasn't alone, and that there was someone, somewhere out there in this big huge world, that would 'get' me. 

Enter mommy forums. I stumbled upon a couple of parenting and mothering forums such as and and immediately signed up. Finally I was going to have a place where I could vent, ask questions, get advice and bond with other women over the miracle of life, and the crazy things that these miracles did to our bodies.  What I didn't realize is that my little idealistic bubble of a community of women brought together by the common thread of being/becoming mothers was going to be popped; violently, viciously, and continuously.

The women on these message boards were unhelpful, unsupportive, and just plain mean. First time moms, with normal first time mom questions and concerns, were told to "suck it up" or "quit whining", and moms who just wanted to vent about whatever was bothering them, were immediately ganged up on by other women if their vent wasn't deemed 'valid' by the majority. These women would float around the message boards looking to devour the next innocent victim who thought she was joining a community. I noticed that the word 'snarky' was used by a lot of these women and it was deemed acceptable to be 'snarky' or to respond to others in a 'snarky' manner.  The word 'snarky' is synonymous with the word 'bitchy' and these words can easily replace each other within sentences. 

This being said I shouldn't have been as surprised as I was to have encountered the things that I encountered on these message boards, I mean what kind of behavior should I have really expected from women that think it is ok to be 'snarky' for fun? I am one of those people who believe in encouraging, uplifting, and speaking life into others, and in no way do I find it ok to bully, belittle, or talk down to anyone for the heck of it. So, disappointed I left the mommy forum world, for what I thought was for good, until I stumbled upon and it was a breath of fresh air. 

It was open, honest, and supportive. A community of women who uplifted and encouraged others without intentionally putting others down. I wish there was more women out there who promoted positivity in every form, who encouraged the growth and watering of others souls. After all what you put in is what you get out, in every aspect of your life. 

So does that mean if you're a snarky mom that puts out snark, you will have snarky kids? Just a thought.

Visit Top Mommy Blogs To Vote For Me!


  1. I agree, I hate the "snarkiness" on mommy forums! After initially checking out The Bump when I was pregnant with my first, I never went back. Who needs that, especially when you are already dealing with pregnancy hormones?

    1. I am glad you could relate!! I love your blog by the way!