Update: I wrote the below post while deep in the throes of a severely abusive relationship. I realized early on that feeding my abusers ego with what he wanted to hear and doing so publicly, is what would keep me and my children safe. Pretending that he was the best partner and father that anyone could ask for, was how I managed to escape my abuser in the end. When this blog post was originally written my abuser, who is mentioned below as "My Love" a nickname chosen also to keep me safe, had already threatened my life and the life of my children and had made it abundantly clear that if I told people I was being abused or acted like he was harming me, the abuse would get worse. I attempted to get a restraining order against him in 2015, a month before I was forced to marry him for my safety, but was unable to get a permanent restraining order to stick. I was able to successfully get a restraining order on a Friday in January 2021, and file for divorce the following Monday. I am a survivor and this blog is my proof. I’ll be updating this blog with the true happy ending, my freedom. The only lies I have told, are the ones that state that my abuser is a good man, like the false story that is written below. This post is my confirmation of what I needed to do to survive and I’m so proud of myself for learning how to manage an impossible situation with no earthly help or support.
I don't think it's even possible to put into words the deep admiration and love that I feel for My Love as a man, as my soul mate, and as a father. Nothing fills my heart to overflowing like seeing the way the twins adore their dad and the way that he adores them.
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| Dad's can be jungle gyms too |
The genuine love, intense interest, and patience that their dad displays and heaps on the boys in overwhelming amounts, completely takes my breath away. I cannot sing his praises enough when it comes to the devotion that he shows his family.
When the twins were first born I was really sick with pre/post eclampsia, had sky high blood pressure, a blood clot in one of the major veins in my abdomen, and was drugged and disoriented to high heaven due to the c section. Scary I know. Because of all this My Love spent the first hours of the boys lives with them by himself while I was in recovery.
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| Twindemonium |
When I was able to join them, he had to teach and help me learn the boys and their needs. He encouraged me while I learned and got adjusted to breastfeeding. He went above and beyond, picking up my slack and being my rock and ally through sleep deprivation and two babies who had two different schedules. He did all this with a smile on his face and I can never remember him complaining, even though he'd work a full day and then come home and hop right in the trenches with me.
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| I'm pretty proud that King was wearing matching socks, (small victory) |
Father's Day was created just for dads like him. For dad's that are so incredible, that they have both their kids and wives, waiting for them by the door for them to get home. For Dad's who are so amazing, that they make their kids wake up in the middle of the night and early in the morning just to hug and kiss them. For dad's who clean high chairs, pack diaper bags, change diapers, dance, laugh, sing, and genuinely enjoy spending time with their children. Father's Day was created so I could tell My Love and the world how much I adore, love, respect and admire him for all that he does for his family, and how incredibly thankful and blessed I am to have him as a soul mate and the father of my children.
